BUILDING A CRISIS- FREE FAMILY (4

Last time , we examined how to develop a family relationship as regards building a crisis-free family.
Today, we shall be looking at the three-in-one factor, which you can use interchangeably to building a crisis-free family. These three factors are: Knowledge, Wisdom and Understanding in relating with your spouse.
In the natural, it is not enough to have a good foundation in place, one must also be very conscious of using the right kind of materials to build a structure that can stand the test of time. It is equally true in marriage as well. Materials here represent divine blueprints, biblical principles intelligently drawn from the Word of God. The Word of God listed these three time-tested, unfailing, guaranteed materials for building a crisis-free family. Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength (Proverbs 24: 3-4).
Knowledge – It means facts, skills, gained through learning and experience. We live in an age of information; the informed people rule the world. If you are not informed, you will be deformed.
– You must however translate the information to conviction, which will motivate your actions.
– It takes a meek and teachable spirit to go in search of relevant knowledge, and apply them in the face of reality.
What do you need to know?
– That nothing in life is maintenance-free, marriage inclusive. So, work at making it work!
– Those differences must arise in marriage, but that they are not a proof of crisis. If properly handled, differences are beneficial and essential to a healthy marriage/family relationship.
– How to communicate (both verbally and non-verbally). Communication has been called the life-blood of a relationship. How true! It is a major weapon in our fight against crisis in the family.
– How to confront in love (without rejecting) when things are going wrong. Speak the truth in love always, watching your timing, tone of voice and motives. “Love without truth is hypocrisy, but truth without love is brutality!” Ephesians 4: 15
– How to forgive – marriage is a union between two forgivers! It’s all about giving and forgiving as often as the need arises.
Understanding – means responding to life’s circumstances with insight, a perspective that looks at life through God’s eyes. Understanding causes you to have compassion for your spouse.
Areas of Understanding
i. Understand who you are – your strength, weaknesses, abilities, likes, dislikes, needs, goal for life, expectations, etc. Understand yourself first!
ii. Understand what marriage is and is not – Marriage is the union of one man and one woman in an exclusive, God-ordained relationship for a life-time.
– Marriage is a perfect union with imperfect practitioners. Marriage requires labour and patience to work (Ecclesiastics 9: 9).
– Marriage is not an avenue of having only your needs met, but meeting the needs of another.
– Marriage is not the source of true joy and contentment, God is.
– Marriage is God’s mystery for earthly dominion (Genesis 1: 28).
iii. Understand your spouse – their background/upbringing.
iv. Contributed to making them who they are, their temperaments, their strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, hopes, fears, vision for life, etc. What sets them off negatively? What makes them react in the best way?
Take time to study them.
When you understand your spouse, you will react differently when there is impending crisis.
v. Understand that men and women are very different, not just physically but emotionally, in the way that they react and respond to issues and in their general outlook towards everyday life.
Understand how to get the best out of your spouse without destroying or compromising their uniqueness.
vi. Understand that you can never correct a negative action with a negative reaction. Two wrongs will never make a right. Learn to keep hurts and disappointments in perspective and always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.
– When you are hurt, don’t lash out; wait until you have firm control of yourself and until the time is right to bring up the issue without rejecting your spouse.
vii. Understand that love is a decision, an act of your will, a choice, commitment and hard work! Love never fails!
Wisdom – It means skill in everyday living; the right and correct use of knowledge. It also means using what you have to get what you want. Even God needed wisdom to build the whole universe (Proverbs 8: 22).
Wisdom Nuggets
i. Never underestimate the power of prayer (for one another and together).
The one you pray for (and with) you will find it difficult to fight!
Pray for your children, lift their weaknesses before the Lord and seek His help concerning every area of their lives.
“God does nothing except in response to prayer.”
Gather divine strength in prayer, to keep the family in shape.
ii. Accept and discharge your God-given responsibilities in the home as if the success of your home depended only on you!
– Husband – love unconditionally
– Wife – submit lovingly to your husband’s leadership
Note: Authority is not meant for the benefit of the one in authority, but as a tool for serving those under that authority!
iii. Learn to compromise in love from time to time. Don’t always insist on your own way; be sensitive to your spouse’s opinions as well.
iv. Never rise above servanthood!
Are you born again? Do you need the Builder of all things to build your family? Why not give your life to Him today, and you shall be born again. You can say this prayer of faith and you shall be born again
“Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day. Forgive me of my sins. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today”. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’
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